02 Jun 2025 5 min read

America Hates Young Parents: Why the U.S. System is Failing Families

TL;DR: The U.S. tax system thrives on population growth but offers little to no support for the very people creating that population: young parents. While other nations offer financial incentives, paid leave, and job protection, America throws you a $2,000 child tax credit and tells you to figure it out. We’re stuck in a system that punishes people for doing the most essential job of all—raising the next generation. And we wonder why no one wants kids anymore?

We’re Getting Taxed to Death—For What?

The U.S. needs people to have children. New generations fuel Social Security, Medicare, and economic growth. But once you actually have kids, the system turns its back on you.

My wife works in healthcare. Every time one of our kids gets sick and she has to call out, her managers make passive-aggressive comments like:

“It was your decision to have kids—it’s your problem. But you still need to work.”

Seriously? FUCK YOU. This is the message American working parents get when life happens. No support. Just pressure and guilt.

Childcare in the U.S. Is a Sick Joke

Let’s talk about childcare, because this is where the numbers start to feel like satire.

A close friend of mine lives in Connecticut. He pays $4,000 per month for a full-time nanny for one child. That’s cash—under the table—because if you do it by the book, it’s even worse with taxes and paperwork. And here’s the kicker: none of it is tax-deductible. It’s just gone.

Think about that.
$4,000/month = $48,000/year
That’s the entire salary of millions of Americans. Gone. To make it possible just to work.

And yet, our government can’t be bothered to create any kind of universal childcare infrastructure? Where does all this tax money go?

Other Countries Help Parents - Why Don’t We?

I came to the U.S. from Russia as a kid. I’ve built my life here and appreciate many of the freedoms this country offers. But let me tell you something that’s hard to admit:

Even Russia supports its families better than America does.

Yeah, you read that right.

In Russia, they created what’s called “Mother’s Capital” - a government payout that gives new mothers around 600,000 rubles (roughly $8,000) when they have a child. If you have a second child, you get an additional 800,000 rubles (~$10,000). And this isn’t a tax credit—it’s actual money you can use for education, housing, or savings.

What does the U.S. give parents?

A $2,000 tax credit (which you may not qualify for)
Maybe some unpaid time off, if you’re lucky
Side-eye from your boss when your kid gets the flu

Thanks?

U.S. Parental Leave is a National Embarrassment

You've probably heard the numbers, but they deserve to be repeated until everyone is outraged.

Countries That Actually Care:

Sweden: 480 days paid leave
Estonia: 86 weeks
Germany: 14 months
Canada: Up to 18 months

America:

ZERO federal paid leave
Only 12 weeks unpaid leave under FMLA (and only if you qualify)
Most moms return to work in 6-8 weeks—some even sooner

That's assuming you don't get fired. Or demoted. Or treated like a problem at work (see: my wife's experience).

Why Gen Z and Millennials Don't Want Kids

Every time the birth rate dips, think tanks and media outlets start asking the same dumb question:

"Why aren't young people having kids anymore?"

Gee, I don't know—maybe because having a kid feels like jumping off a financial cliff?

Childbirth is expensive even with insurance.
Daycare and nannies are priced like luxury cars.
Careers suffer. Promotions stall.
There's zero paid leave.
You get shamed for needing time off when your kid is sick.

And people wonder why we say no thanks?

The system practically guarantees financial hardship, emotional burnout, and a complete lack of community support. Meanwhile, older generations scream at us to "settle down and have kids."

No. Fix the system first.

Stop Blaming the Parents

Here's a common response you'll hear from the boomer crowd:

"You decided to have kids. It's your responsibility."

Okay, true.

But if you want people to keep feeding the economy, funding your retirement, and keeping the labor force alive, then maybe—just maybe—you should support the people who are willing to do the hard work of parenting.

Because without us, there is no "next generation."

And without the next generation, the whole damn system collapses.

Here's What Needs to Happen

Paid Parental Leave (Federal) Minimum of 6 months. Period. For both parents.
Childcare Subsidies Cap childcare expenses to a reasonable percentage of income. No one should be paying more for childcare than their mortgage.
Respect for Working Parents Normalize the fact that children get sick. Stop punishing employees for being parents.
Direct Financial Support How about actual money—not just a tax write-off? Russia does it. Why can't we?
Long-Term Job Security Guarantee jobs for up to 2-3 years if a parent decides to stay home longer.

Final Word: This Isn't Just a Rant. It's a Warning.

The U.S. family system is broken. No, worse—it was never built to support families in the first place. And if nothing changes, here's what we'll see:

Lower birth rates
More burnout
A workforce shortage
A social services collapse

You can't keep demanding that people have kids while punishing them for doing so.

You want more babies in America? Build a system that doesn't break the people raising them.

Join the Movement

Ever paid $4,000/month for childcare?
Been punished at work for your kids being sick?
Have a better solution than "figure it out"?